Sunday, December 11, 2005

Update in the Quest for Yoo-Hoo cake. Well, for those of you who didn't read my Xanga in the summer, I set out on a quest to create a Yoo-Hoo flavored cake. The first three tries resulted in: not chocolatey enough, no different than chocolate cake and lacking in that unique flavor.

However, I believe I have come up with my grand solution. I don't have time to pursue my latest idea anytime soon, but I will let the world know of my victory if it works.
I don't drink Yoo-Hoo as often these days, but I enjoy it on occassion.

Well, I have a 200-point paper for English Grammars, a 200-point final for English grammars and a 7:30 final for Editing tomorrow, so I'm going to work.

In the words of the wise Kyle Kurtz, "Drink Yoo-Hoo."
My drinking philosophy: drinking is cyclical. If you keep drinking, you'll get sober.
Are you drunk? Know what the solution is--drink more.

I had a great time drinking with a group of people I've never had the pleasure of partying with before. It was a great prequel to finals and deadline. I also had some great conversations as I was sobering up that I hope were beneficial for everyone involved. I know I feel better having heard many sides.

I'm glad I went to the party tonight. It will be my saving grace. I'll need to go more often after this.

Friday, December 09, 2005

No school on Friday...that means yearbook work time. Went to St. Joseph today to pick up an assortment of books by permanent faculty at the University of Iowa's Writer's Workshop. Three of the four faculty members had books down at Borders. One of the four already had books on my bookshelf. I bought more by him. McPherson wasn't at the store. I guess I'm hitting up amazon (again).

By the way, was anyone else disappointed that the Stroller didn't appear in this week's issue of the Northwest Missourian?

To those going to 'Bama, be safe, be loud and bring back a win.

To those of you staying in the 'Ville, be warm.

To those of you who aren't NW students, be.

I could rant about several things, but I won't.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

You want to confuse someone? Write a story about death and the afterlife. Don't make the afterlife normal, make up your own. In fact, have someone trying to kill other people in the afterlife. Can you kill someone who's already dead? Then develop a system of good and evil in a limbo-like state and have an antagonist who kills the protagonist but the protagonist fights for the side of good and is saved because of some cosmic anomaly. Then take it to class and have people read it and try to make sense of it all. When they get really confused, watch their eyes cross in their head.


P.S. Make up words like omniconsciousness. It helps with the confusion. And add a love story. There's nothing like sweet love between a dead person and a living person. *Not sexual...not yet*


P.P.S. But none of that "Ghost" pottery shit.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

I really like this story...a lot. All I can say is, thank goodness for plot twists. I love writing fiction.
Boo classes and deadline. Yay fiction. Why can't I get all that I want and none of the trouble?

Of mixed emotions about national championship. Good for Bearcats, bad for yearbook. Just adds another layer of stress to my life. Half of me was excited when we won, the other half was disappointed. I just want this publication to be done. I'm probably the worst Bearcat fan ever.

More homework...

*EDIT* I'm sorry my roommate is sick, but my apartment is entirely too warm for me. I'm tempted to open my window to let in some cool air, but the furnace will just kick on. Why can't I live with other people who like the chill?

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Short mid-weekend update.


So far, so good. Wicked was great. The best production I've seen. There were, of course, some issues, but overall I'd give it an A. And the Fox Theatre is amazing. Wow.

The drive there/back wasn't too bad. I find driving relaxing, but it's horrible on my back. I'm considering taking a bath so I can submerge myself in hot water to loosen some muscles, but I need to get this fiction work done and then get to bed. Church will come quite early (especially since I have to practice everything still.)

PMA stuff tonight was a great time. I'm really glad I went. PMA stuff tomorrow should also be great, but I'm gonna be exhausted Monday. I'm ready for a break, but I have too much to do between now and Thanksgiving. 'Tis a double-edged sword.

Well, I'm off to write then snooze.

Monday, November 14, 2005

According to the Kansas City Star horoscopes I'm having a 2-star day. I'm inclined to agree. I seem to be a little short with people, but such is life. I need to schedule several interviews for my editing assignment, do some work on my first workshop piece for fiction, work on my Tower stuff and start rewriting some Theories papers. If I do work this week, I can really milk Thanksgiving Break for all it's worth. Tower deadline #2 is approaching VERY quickly.

I need to learn better time management skills. Procrastination is not my friend this semester. I'm looking forward to this spring. Only 106 days until Tower 2006 is finished. Back to work.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Exhausted...still not completely done with deadline. Just wrote "not completely dead."

I've been in Wells Hall since 9:25 p.m. Saturday, October 29 to 4:25 a.m. Monday, October 31. I have to go to a meeting with my adviser at 9 a.m. Pages are due by 5 p.m. in Kansas City. I've had approximately 2.5 hours of sleep since Saturday, October 29, 10:09 a.m. I spent that 2.5 hours sleeping in Wells Hall. I've spent more time working on the yearbook than I have sleeping in the last week. I'm not kidding. I'll do the math later. Why did I sign up for this?

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Yearbook is stressing me out...like giving me an ulcer stressing me out. I have deadline soon, and I've been pulling 12-hour shifts in the yearbook office. I've basically stopped communicating with everyone and everything in an effort to get this all done. My staff is falling apart on me, and it all comes down on my back. I'm not complaining, just airing my thoughts.

Beth - sorry I haven't talked to you in awhile. I really would like nothing more than sitting down and chatting with you, but I am booked solid. I'm freed from deadline after Halloween, so I'll do my best to talk to you Nov. 1. You're important to me, and it's just a matter of you don't keep the hours I do. If you were up right now, I'd forgo sleep to chat. Alas, you are not.

Sam - I hope the kitties aren't causing you too much duress. I would really like to hang out with you, but I just can't find the time. I feel bad, and I feel like I'm screwing this all up. I'll try to stop by in a few hours to give Mittens her meds and get a hug. We're getting totally smashed when deadline is over.

T-Rev - You're saving my ass with your Tower dedication. It means more than you probably know.

Tower Staff - It's a struggle to manage you, but your hard work and long hours are not thankless. I'm glad to work with you.

Hartley - Probably one of the worst 21st birthdays ever, right? I'm sorry. We're almost through it all.

PMA - Skit kicked ass. I'll be looking forward to seeing you guys after deadline.

Anyone who's tried to contact me: Sorry I'm slacking off in this area. I'll try to catch up soon.

Well, I need to wind down a bit more, but I think I'll leave Xanga for now. Don't expect an update for awhile.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Spent some time in Wells Hall tonight working on yearbook. It's so peaceful to just listen to classical music and measure picas. I'm not looking forward to the noise of a workday. Oh well, better get some sleep before the whole business begins. I'm a loser...

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

The_Boy_Named_Blue has returned to its original blue format. Well, the colors probably weren't the exact same, but it is definitely blue.
Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia will be performing at the Homecoming Variety Show Wednesday-Friday, so make sure you get tickets, come to the show and cheer for us. It's pretty kickass if I do say so myself. Of course, all of the organizations put in a lot of time for these evenings, so make sure you stick around after we perform.
If you couldn't tell, it's Homecoming week, and it's the first NW Homecoming I've had where I'm not stressing out about getting ready for Saturday. It's a good thing! To be honest, I haven't really even been stressing out about skit. Of course, I'm chorus, so I just have to make sure to sing loud and remember the dance moves. Other people have a lot more work.
I'm in a fairly decent mood lately, although I'm still a little tired. We got some work done this weekend for Tower, but we discovered that we had been designing all of our pages for a size 7 book instead of a size 9, so that merits a major redesign. I don't know how it happened, but there's nothing I can do now except suck it up and fix the problem. I *think* we'll be able to get everything done by deadline (Halloween), but please be forgiving if I'm a little cranky for the next two weeks.
Speaking of cranky, I was so angry and bitter and sleep-deprived on Sunday that I drove off from the McDonalds drive-thru when the lady cut me off in my order and gave me my total. I had no patience for people who didn't listen. I still don't. If you work in the service industry and you ask someone a question, listen to their answer. I'd rather you not ask at all if you're not listening.
Okay, rant over. I have some concerns with my other job at the Episcopal Church. I've expressed some of those concerns to Samantha, and I'm not sure that Xanga is the right place to say them again. However, I will say that certain attitudes cause certain problems. Acceptance of other people is very important to the Episcopal Church, and you should be careful about what you're saying. Relgion is ever-changing, and we need to recognize that. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then don't assume anything. I speak in generalities because that is a diplomatic way of expressing my opinion without offending anyone.
Okay, I need to get to work on psychology stuff, so I'll update more later. Try to stay positive, and if you're feeling down, talk to someone who believes in you. It's a great feeling. You know who you are, and even though you don't read this, thanks.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Things went awry with yearbook last night. Big mistake, still need to clean up all the mess. Why is it that Homecoming just makes me hate everything? I can't wait until I'm an alumnus. I need sleep. I can't sleep because I have work to do. The appropriate word is fuck.

Friday, October 14, 2005

So, I said I was going to update about my change in career plans, and I'm finally done with my RHA stuff, so I guess I will.
I've been thinking a lot about journalism and how it's not right for me. I've also been thinking a lot about my passion for writing and how it's not likely to bring home any money soon. So, I'm stuck at an impasse. Do I pursue a job I know I won't like or do I step out and risk it all with almost certain failure? And then I found a great compromise. I love to teach, I really do. When I was 11, I wanted to be a math teacher. I've moved on from math, and although I thought about music for awhile, I've decided I would be a kickass English professor. I think I fit the part. And the great thing is, I could teach writing. I could continue to practice my craft, stay in the academic environment (which I love) and teach others to write. It's a win-win-win situation. So now I'm looking at graduate schools and really thinking hard about teaching. I don't want to be a reporter who writes creatively on the side. I don't want to be a professional who writes on the side. I want writing to be my lifeforce, whether I'm teaching or writing. It was a giant "AHA" moment when I came to this conclusion. I realize I may never be on the bestseller list, but as long as I can do what I love, I'll be fine. I'm doomed for a life of relative poverty, and I couldn't be happier.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

So, I'm going to start off this post by telling everyone about my experience giving blood Tuesday. I went over to the Station at about 1 p.m. and waited to sign up for giving blood. I filled out all the paperwork and eventually got on a bed. After waiting for awhile, they finally stabbed me with the needle and proceeded to drain me. I was truckin' along and I was almost through when one of the technicians came over to check on my progress. Now, if you've ever given blood you know that that take the bag off the hook and move it back and forth to make sure it's not clotting. Well, when the technician picked up the bag, she dropped it. This caused the needle to do a happy little jig inside my vein. I almost threw up/passed out. It was horrible. I finished up donating and they asked me how I was feeling as they took the last vial of blood for testing. "I'm a little nauseated," I said. So they laid me down and put a couple ice packs on me. Needles freak me out, but dancing needles in my veins make me ill, even now. However, I now have this lovely bruise and my arm hurts even 36 hours after giving blood. But, as they say, it's for a good cause.
In other news, it was dress up day for Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia, and I felt quite stylish. People dig my hair. It wasn't too painful to dress up all day, but I'd normally ditch the tie. I went to Margaret Cho tonight. I felt a little out of place because the room was full of gay guys, but it wasn't a big deal. Besides, Margaret Cho is too funny to skip out just because you're feeling a little outnumbered. She had some very good points to make, and I don't think I've laughed that much in some time. I was sorry to miss rehearsal for skit, but I wasn't going to miss out on a comedy show. I'll be there all the other times, so I figured I won't burn in hell for too long.
I'm debating whether to finish my award bid right now and then sleep or sleep for awhile then finish my award bid. I think I'll go with the latter.
Coming soon: a change in career plans? find out more later.

Friday, October 07, 2005

"From my own point of view, I can only tell you what has worked for me -- find something you really enjoy doing and pursue it. For me it was artwork. Since other subjects came to me with more difficulty, I tried to combine art with them. So, for example, in history, I would often provide drawings depicting a particular period or situation -- bringing together both cultural and historical elements. It did not nexessarily bring up my history grade, but it did keep my mind open to history as it related to something I loved."
--Jim Henson
Wise words from a wise man. I thought it was particularly relevant to my recent ponderings. Thanks Samantha.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

I suppose I should clarify a few things so as to avoid offending anyone. My spiritual troubles are my own, and I don't expect, or want, anyone to show me the way. I don't have anything wrong with Christianity, but I always feel as if Christians are trying to convert me to their side. I'm usually very passive about religion, but I think my inundation in a religious environment has affected me. I've become somewhat irritable because of it. I realize that my roommates are just trying to include me in their lives, but I'm so aversive to religion that I feel they're disappointed when I turn them down. I guess it's all supposed judgment, but I always get a sense of Thy Way or the Highway. I have some issues with accepting all facets of a religion and not relying on my own sense of what is right and just. I often feel Christians are focusing too much on "the Son of God" and the crucifixion of the man. I don't think anyone has it right. I think the important thing to remember is that our own values should match our religion's. I don't completely mesh with Christianity, so I'm still trying to find what fits me. But I am not lost. I don't feel any sense of emptiness by not identifying with a religion right now. Don't pray for my soul. I hate that.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

I needed a break. I found one. I just wanted to lose myself this evening. Instead of hitting the bars to drink and let loose, I opted for solitude. Strolling through Judah Park, I smelled earth. The smell of chopped wood and summer heat clinging to the air. I laid down on the hard pathway and stared at the stars. Drinking cheap vodka, I stared at the motionless sky. Nothing moved. It was perfect peace. I took in the smell of the fresh earth and thought about my past. The scent of wood chips triggered memories of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and the stacks of lumber that eventually formed a house. I thought about the beach of Lake Superior and the strong waves that toppled over my body. I thought of life fighting the freezing waves and the soft sand that welcomed me where liquid met solid. I wanted to lose myself in that border today. The calm air settled down on me like a blanket, and I closed my eyes. Insects buzzed in the night, and in the distance I could hear traffic. I was alone. I thought about death then. I always think about death if I'm left to my own devices. I wanted answers to the mysteries. I asked, but only silence followed. It's always silence. In my daily endeavors, I find human kindness but not divine presence. I find beauty in nature, but I don't feel any omniscient, benevolent force. I feel the pulse of life - individual life in balance with itself. Peaceful chaos of existence. I thought about rebirth. There is too much to live in just one lifetime. I thought about people who end their own lives. I thought about how it's a lousy escape, but it's what is right for some. I hoped those people found the right path to the next life. I thought about fate and repetition of history. What we are now forms what we will be in the future. I'm losing my Christianity. I don't think this is a bad thing. I'm finding more happiness, more acceptance, more forgiveness in the nameless beliefs I've adopted. The virtue of selfishness. Don't let what someone tells you form you. Let you form you. I came back to my apartment, which was full of people laughing at seemingly pointless conversation. It drove me crazy. Caution: sober thoughts. Do not mix with awkward exchanges. May cause drowsiness.

Monday, September 19, 2005

It's an epic battle. Me vs. the Cold. I'm on a steady diet of DayQuil/NyQuil, but my fever keeps raging on. I keep changing my clothes because I sweat through the things I'm wearing. I don't think I've been this sick for quite some time. I really disagree with it.
However, even with my sickness, I still don't feel all that bummed out. T-Rev, if you need someone to talk to or whatever, let me know. I'm here to lend an ear or whatever. I hope you start feeling better soon.
For those of you who aren't sick/bummed out, you should be quite happy. And if you want to stay healthy, you should stay away from us sick people. I don't know exactly what it is, but it seems to be going around.
Well, I'm going to try to pick up my room a little bit. If there's one thing I hate more than being sick, it's being sick and living in a messy room.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Laika
One to sevendays in frozen time--your life ended, extinguishedflame above Earthin celestial fabric.Bark. -- Death waitsin cold or searing heat.You burned whenyou came back, butfetched crystal pointsfrom the sky into your eyesand you barkedat death. It wasa silent echo--futile sacrifice forscience and poetry.Speak girl.
I have long entertained the idea of working in a career that required me to travel all the time. I hate flying, but I love travel. However, all that time on the airplane is what makes me want to have to fly all that time. Breathing in the stale, recycled air and constantly trying to pop my ears (even when I'm on the ground), my thoughts always stray to death. I always think about what might happen if I were to plummet to the ground in that aerial metal tube. What would people say? Who would get all my stuff from my apartment? Would my body be recovered? I always treat flying a little bit like death.
And I've found this song. There's something about being in a plane, at an airport, on the tarmac -- it always makes me want to write -- to send a message before I ascend into uncertainty. I haven't written anything worthwhile while flying, but someday I'll capture exactly how I feel. Until then, I refer you to this song. It's my favorite from this album.
"Plane"Jason MrazMr. A-Z

Monday, September 12, 2005

I don't have a lot to post about, but I said some funny stuff today, and I felt like posting some of it.

"I think my psychology professor doesn't believe in evolution" - me (it wasn't funny, but I just wanted people to know)

"They said all the gatorade is being sent to Iraq" - T-Rev"That excuse is lamer than FDR's legs" - me quoting family guy and still looking like an a-hole

"the blind woman said, 'it's about time someone took my picture'" - T-Rev"if you wanted to be really mean, you could have said, 'Would you like to see it?'" - me"okay, you've reached your limit for the day" - T-Rev

"Aunt Jemima is a bitch" - me

"I will need fire making material" - iowa"such as?" - me"wood. kindling. if we go out there after dark it will be super hard, and dark is 8:30" - iowa"hahaha I just made you say you need wood" - me"i want you to know that i'm flipping off the screen as hard as i can" - iowa

Monday, September 05, 2005

Drunk girls don't care what you look like.
I decided to go running last night...at about 1 a.m. I donned my usual running apparel: short, a lyrca shirt that wicks moisture away from your body so you don't get as hot, a bright yellow t-shirt so people could see me, and my Nike Free shoes.
I started off by running toward the high rises, ran in front of Dieterich, between the Tower Suites, in front of Phillips and out to Country Club Drive and ran until First Street, where I turned left. I went up to Faustiana Drive, then followed the road down to Grand Avenue, where I turned right. I followed Grand until the second north-south road in the area with the new houses (the road after Edwards), and then I turned left and went out to Munn. I took Munn south until Highway V. I took Highway V to Main Street, and I turned left. I followed Main Street until I got to the statue of Saint Francis of Assisi, where I eventually made my way to Walnut. I took Walnut back down to Seventh Street, and then proceeded to run on campus back to the Forest Village Apartments. Total distance: 6.5 miles.
I was going to relate my "Drunk girls don't care what you look like" story at this point, but now I'm not feeling it. I might tell it in person, but I've decided it's not that great of a story.
Well, I need to head over to Wells Hall to get ready for my 5 p.m. meeting. I've realized being editor means you have to prepare for meetings rather than just show up. I need to remember something so I can get everyone's attention. Managing a staff of 17 is difficult when people all talk at the same time.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Because I feel somewhat unoriginal and I wish to post, I give you my rundown of classes.

General Psychology - Lani Clayton
This is a class of 70 students. Four of us are upperclassmen. It's at 8 a.m. Monday, Wednesday and Friday. This class feels like it's going to be a slight waste of my time mixed with a professor's feeble attempt to make psychology interesting for a wide array of majors. Lofty goals...

Theories of Mass Communication - Fred Lamer
Sometimes I think Fred uses difficult words just to make himself seem smarter than he actually is. Then I realize that Fred is a genius who is teaching undergraduate mass communication courses. God bless his patience. I think I need a dictionary to understand everything he says.

Editing - Jody Strauch
Well, Jody wasn't in class Monday due to a family emergency, but I'm anticipating a great class. The focus of this class is grammar, and I plan to dominate the course with my good buddy T-Rev, just like we dominated Professional Media Writing together. 'i' before 'e' except after 'c' bi-atch

English Grammars - Bruce Litte
Anyone who's ever had Bruce Litte will understand when I say the man is random. The content is interesting to me (a mixture of linguistics, etymology and grammar), but the method of instruction confuses me. I hope things turn out better than they did on the first day.

Advanced Yearbook Practicum - err...me
So, I'm the instructor for this little course because I'm the yearbook editor. Technically speaking, Laura Widmer is the instructor, but I'm the one up in front of the class every week. I'm going to enjoy teaching a course. It's managing people that will drive me crazy.

Creative Writing: Fiction - Rebecca Aronson
I love creative writing, and I've had Rebecca for two classes before (plus she's my minor adviser). This is going to be my "this is a lot of work, but I love it" class. There's a lot of talent in here, and I'm looking forward to bouncing my ideas off other writers.



Well, this doesn't seem quite right, but it's true. I'm only taking 17 hours this trimester. I say only because 17 is a pretty light load for me. I've been spending my non-class time in Wells Hall trying to get Tower things squared away. I just wish my adviser was around (and I wish she wouldn't have needed to leave). I can deal with the stress of delayed communication with Laura because she's functioning a lot better than I would in the same situation. Keep on truckin'.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

I'm a big fan of the Odd News section of Yahoo! News, but this was just too bizarre.

Pickled fetus head fuels art furor

That's right, a Chinese artist created a piece of art that is the head of a human fetus attached to a seagulls body all kept in a jar of formaldehyde. Quite odd if you ask me.



In other news, my life is just full of procrastination, and I'm afraid it will soon catch up with me. I guess it's all good, but I'm thinking this is not the way to start off the school year. However, I blame my year-round attendance at Northwest to be the cause of this premature apathy for the semester.

I start the Fall 2005 trimester in fitting fashion by going to the 8 a.m. session of general psychology. I looked at my schedule for tomorrow, and I only have one hour off aside from meal breaks (granted those other hours are working in the yearbook office). Oh well.

I'm digging life with the roommates. They're a really good group of guys. Bryan, Josh, Brent and Trent: the four men of A201, "The Flat."

I'm just not feeling the Xanga "magic" right now. This was the only bit I could choke out. I guess I'm just going through the Xanga actions until something reignites my love of online journaling. Stay cool.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

So, a little bit more serious of a post is in order. I have finally returned to Maryville after my little travel adventure. I do leave for yearbook retreat this weekend, but I'm pretty much back here for good. As I sit and look at my ever-growing "to do" list, I realize that I might just have to trim my involvement a bit.

Yes, my friends, I am thinking about leaving the Tower Choir after my brilliant one-semester stint. I could really use the extra time, and there's also the issue of a conflict of dates between journalism and choir. You see, I've been planning to go to New Orleans for the College Media Advisers national fall conference, but Tower Choir has two, yes TWO, performances during that time period. I figure I'll still be involved with music as a member of PMA and as church organist, but I just can't bring myself to sign on for this.

If I do drop TC, I'll get going from 18 hours to 17 hours, the first time I've dipped below the max since freshman year. I'm pretty certain I'm going to gracefully bow out, so it would take some major convincing to change my mind at this point.

For those of you who don't care whether I'm in Tower Choir (for example, you are not involved), I heard an interesting tidbit today on NPR's Fresh Air. The had Dr. Warren Clark, the founder of eHarmony.com, on the show today. They were discussing the history of the site as well as some of the issues surrounding it. One part really caught my attention and made me think. Clark said the site does not cater to homosexuals because they don't have the research to know how gays connect on an emotional level and what their relationships are like. I am heterosexual, and so maybe I don't understand the difference, but quite frankly, I don't think there is a difference between what heterosexuals look for in a relationship and what homosexuals want. I'm interested to hear your thoughts on the matter. Do homosexuals seek different emotions in their relationships than heterosexuals?

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Well, I'm spending my days up here in the good ol' Hastings, Mich., where I am staying with the Wallace family and enjoying the presence of their brand new corgi puppy. Apparently, I act as a sedative for babies, be they animal or human, and I induce napping by my presence. That being said, Oliver (the puppy) is a bundle of energy, and it's really funny to see him leaping and playing, and then he just crashes.
The trip was nice, and I really enjoyed seeing Hank and Rosie (Samantha's grandparents) and meeting Donna and Howard (Samantha's other grandparents). It's always nice to meet someone's family.
My yearbook editor scholarship went through on top of my presidential scholarship, so now the school is paying me to go to Northwest. It's nice. More to come later.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

I'm grounded. No TV. It's a pretty harsh punishment, but I'm pretty strict. I've turned into a real couch potato in the last couple of weeks, and I've actually been scheduling my life according to the TV schedule. So I've unplugged the damn thing and I moved it into one of the spare rooms. No TV until I can regain some semblance of a life, or at least a writer's life. I haven't been reading or writing because I've just been letting my brain be zapped by cable. I haven't slept in my own bed in over two weeks because I don't have a TV in my room. I've been crashing on my futon, often without unfolding it, so it's practically like sleeping on the couch, a very uncomfortable couch.
We wrote ekphrasis poems today in poetry. Ekphrasis is just a fancy way of saying poetry about art. We were supposed to wrote one or two poems in the time provided, but I wrote nine. I've always viewed poetry with a dubious eye, but I think I'm actually pretty good at it. I even received my first poetry award today. I got a container of Silly Putty for being the student who convinced the class that my work was of W.H. Auden. The professor actually got more votes, but hey, I edged out the real Auden stanza in the competition. Not bad, if I do say so myself.
My brother's in Australia now, but he hasn't told me much about what he's doing while over there. I want to travel. Several of my friends have been to Europe this summer, but I've been stuck in Maryville. I need a major scenery change. The midwest, while great, cannot keep my attention completely. I need to go somewhere more foreign to me. A visit to the big city or the west coast or southwest or southeast or south. I guess anywhere. My drive home is five states: Missouri, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana and Michigan, but these are all practically the same. Throw in Kansas and Nebraska and you have the Great Plains...plus Michigan (just effed up). Give me mountains or beaches. I want out.

Monday, June 27, 2005

So, I had a nice debate with myself tonight. I drove around for a little this evening and then returned to the homestead. Upon getting back, I said to myself, "I should go for a run."
"But you just ate twenty minutes ago."
"Yeah, but I'll be okay."
"No, it's hot and you'll feel like throwing up and will stop running early."
"I don't care I'm going running anyway."
So, I went to the dryer to grab my running clothes because I washed them this morning so I wouldn't have to jog in day-old sweat, but to my dismay, I didn't actually transfer my laundry to the dryer.
"So, hah!"
I must now wait for the dryer to dry my clothes, which means that my food will have a chance to digest and the weather might cool a fraction of a degree. Funny how things work sometimes.
*EDIT* I just got back from my run. Successfully delayed, it was pretty difficult. I attribute that to my shoes. Running barefoot (or in a shoe that accurately models the act) builds up the muscles in the feet and calves, and I'm feeling the burn. Well worth the investment, but not for the casual runner.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Well, it's about time for an update. Samantha came over this weekend for a late birthday celebration. Still haven't been to the bars since I turned 21, but I did order a mucho margarita at Applebee's. So, since turning 21, I have bought, consumed, ordered and provided alcohol. Not bad it I say so myself.
In other news, I finally picked up a new pair of running shoes. I bought the new Nike Free shoes. You know, the ones with the tagline: "Run barefoot." They were very comfortable in the store, and I'm looking forward to running in them.
I also received the Associated Press Guide to Punctuation. I love books about punctuation. The subtleties of English grammar are so fun to learn about. That's right. Fun. F-U-N.
I spent way too much money this weekend, but my apartment actually looks like a living space now. Samantha got me decorations for my bathroom and I used gift cards from mis padres y abuelos to buy some stuff for my kitchen and living room.
Well, not much else that I want to write about right now. I'll update again sometime.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

I haven't updated in a couple of days, but that's because my life is pretty boring. I have some yearbook work to do, but I seem to be putting it off. Samantha's coming over this weekend, but I'm not sure we have any real plans. It'll be fun to just hang out.
I'm in a bit of a weird mood. I'm not sure exactly what's bugging me, but I feel a general mild annoyance with everything around me. I guess it's just a funk. Maybe it's because I don't feel in control of my life right now. People seem to have plenty suggestions of what I should do and different deadlines are looming, and I just feel like my input isn't very important in all of this. That's why I enjoyed going on a walk with my friend Beth tonight. We have good conversations about random things and she never offers me any unwanted advice. It's a rare thing to find in a person.
Well, I need to clean up my apartment before Samantha gets here tomorrow, so I'm going to cut this short and get started on cleaning things up a bit.
*EDIT* Pickup trucks that kick rocks into your windshield really suck. Some stupid truck outside Kirksville cracked my windshield and now I have to pay $387 to fix the damn thing.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Well, the day is coming to a close, sort of. I still have homework to do, but I'm seriously considering putting it off until tomorrow morning. Thanks to all of you who wished me a happy birthday today. I'm sure you're all excited to hear about the adventures of my 21st birthday, so here goes.
I woke up at 7 a.m. I thought this was highly irregular so I snoozed until 8. Finally deciding I shouldn't fight the morning, I woke up and took a shower. In the shower, I decided I should go for a morning run, but I realized I'd have to shower again before class, so I decided against it. I made myself scrambled eggs for breakfast and had some yogurt too while I watched E.R. on TNT.
At 10, I left for Design II, where I quickly finished the in-class assignment and then left. My upper back was hurting me. Probably because I sneezed Sunday and since I was in a reclining position I lifted myself up and sneezed away from the furniture and fell back down hard after the very powerful sneeze. I think I threw something out of whack.
Made myself a nice lunch of grilled chicken breast with some olive oil. I watched half an episode of Judging Amy while reading through Google News. At 1:10, I left for Reporting I. Went about things as normal in that class and then came back to my apartment. Decided it was time to go grocery shopping because my fridge and shelves were empty, so I headed out to Walmart. While there, I did pick up some alcohol just because I'm 21 now. Came back to my apartment and proceeded to track down a missing package. Found it and called my future in-laws to chat.
Watched some Charmed while waiting for my dinner meeting. Went to A&G's with Laura Widmer and discussed several things re: Tower yearbook. Very nice meeting, and I had one of my favorite foods: gyros. That meeting lasted about an hour and after I stopped by the Episcopal chuch to pick up some materials for my design class. I also revamped the hymn schedule through July 17. That took about 45 minutes.
Come 8:30 and I decide to go running. I'd give the exact route, but that would take too long and I forgot all the roads I ended up taking. I ran 8.2 miles and was going strong until my right calf suddenly spasmed and cramped up. I almost fell down. I walked it off for about .2 miles and then decided to give it another go. I made it .1 miles before my left leg did the same thing. So, I walked the rest of the way home. Total trip distance: 9.7 miles. The one bad thing about my run (besides the cramping): I ran out of water at about 6.5 miles. Needless to say, I ended up very dehydrated and now I feel like vomiting.
That's basically my day. I'd say that there is more excitement to come, but I'm exhausted and not feeling well after my run. All in all, I think it was a great birthday. No big celebrations, just another day. Nice.
Hope your 20th of June was as enjoyable as mine.

Monday, June 20, 2005

And in the interest of celebrating 21 years on this planet, I decided to share a memory from each year of my life...at least those I can remember.
(0-1) In the first year of my life, I did the same things other infants do. I don't actually have any memories of this year of my life, but I'm sure it was a total blast, for infants of course.
(1-2) I started to diversify my portfolio. I became less like a crying mass with limbs and started to gain my independence. Crawling, walking, whatever. I did it all. But I still pooped my pants all the time. What can I say? I was still young.
(2-3) Major birthday party this year. All of the neighborhood kids were invited and we had a blast. Slip-N-Slide, swimming, running through the sprinklers, and upside down ice cream cones that looked like clown heads. Arguably one of the best birthday celebrations I've ever had.
(3-4) At some point during the summer, my family only had one car. I'm not sure if the van was in the repair shop or what happened, but it was gone for at least a few days. One hot, muggy morning, my mom, brother and I walked from our home to the local Osco drug at the corner of 39th and Noland. That memory is quite vivid in my mind. I remember the morning was already hot and we were all sweaty by the time we had walked up the hill, down the street and under the railroad bridge to get to the store. I think we're not completely aware as children, but I can still recall this event with absolute clarity. I think it was the beginning of my awareness of the world.
(4-5) Hello preschool. The beginning of my educational journey was at Sycamore Hills Preschool on 39th Street in Independence, Mo. We had those permanent markers that are in the metal casing. You know, the ones that are really strong smelling? Now, I always think back to my preschool days when I catch a whiff of one of those. And let's not forget all the awesome songs you learn in preschool. I guess it was the beginning of my musical career too. Good year.
(5-6) The family moved from Independence to Buckner, Mo. My favorite toys were wooden blocks, and I also was addicted to coloring. I had a collection of coloring books to be reckoned with. My aunt & uncle got me giant coloring books for Christmas, and I would use these as platforms for my constructions. I also began to pick up writing. I remember my favorite restaurant was Taco Bell, and I wrote "TB" everywhere. I couldn't spell the whole name, but I knew the initials. It was like one of those middle school notes, but I would write to my mom: "TB Y N." I'm not sure I ever got an answer on my media (I wrote it everywhere, including inside my dresser drawer).
(6-7) Ah, kindergarten. I went to school in the afternoons. This meant I didn't have to be at school in the morning, so I could continue to watch Regis and Kathy Lee and The Price Is Right with my mom. Actually, she usually found something else to do during The Price Is Right, but Bob Barker had my complete attention. It was an odd year, and I think that was partly because my kindergarten teacher's husband died so we had a few different subs for awhile. This year also included the birth of my sister. I don't remember much about that time, but I did know I was no longer the baby of the family. I became "the middle child."
(7-8) In first grade, I was thoroughly convinced that I was smarter than my teacher. They tested me for the talented and gifted program, but they didn't actually explain why I was talking to the school counselor. I thought she was wasting my time and I didn't care about the questions she was asking me. I think I was somewhat spiteful because I was missing silent reading time to do the test. Nobody messes with silent reading time. I also didn't care from what direction the sun rose. I remember thinking my counselor was really wasting my time with that question. I wonder how different my school life would have been if I had actually committed to the test and joined TAG then. Oh well.
(8-9) D.E.A.R. Mrs. Gussman was the best elementary school teacher ever. Drop Everything and Read was preceeded by episodes of Reading Rainbow. I've never met a teacher who was so dedicated to literacy as she was. I remember lots of fun times in that class, including being timed to walk from the classroom to the office to get staplers. The classroom shared a corner with the entry, so you could look out the windows and see into the office. When I got there and asked the secretary for the supplies, Mrs. Gussman buzzed the office and they heckled me from the classroom. Good times.
(9-10) Sweetness. Mrs. Gussman moved up with the class and it was almost the identical roster. Tom Reese transferred to his aunt's class in third grade, but the rest of us were all there. We still had D.E.A.R. and we still watched Reading Rainbow. I remember learning some algebra in the class, and it was difficult, but I don't know many third graders who are good at algebra. However, we also worked on handwriting, cursive in particular. I hated that because I was left-handed and thus had more difficulty with it. My cursive is still horrible, so I developed my own form of print/script.
(10-11) Fourth grade. This was the year I first received actual voice training. You remember Mrs. Gussman from (8-9) and (9-10)? Well, her husband, Leo Gussman, helped with the choral programs at Fort Osage and William-Chrisman high schools. Anyway, he wanted to put on a production of Menotti's "Amahl and the Night Visitors," so he auditioned me for the part of Amahl. Well, he liked what he heard, so that started the training. I increased my range (I was a soprano 1 when I was that age) and I was hitting high D's and high F's in the music (the very high ones). Not many fourth graders receive opera training. Well, the high school student who was to play my mother had a nervous breakdown, so I didn't end up performing. However, I kept the training. It was like free voice lessons.
(11-12) Ah, fifth grade. Enter nerd-dom. Actually, I was just over-dedicated to school. I was quite the computer-savvy kid, and I went to school early every morning to help my teacher, Judy Oetting, with the computer and classroom maintenance. I also ended up joining the Journalism Club, which I actually wasn't a big fan of, but that was because I was pressured into joining. Fifth grade also included the living rainforest exhibit in our classroom. It was where we decorated the entire room with rainforest related cutouts and information and then led classes through the room.
(12-13) My first book was published at age 12...sort of. It was supposed to be, but my teacher lost all the materials. It was *actually* published the next year, but this was when I produced it. I joined the Artist/Author Club at Fort Osage Middle School, and I wrote a book about the rainforest exhibit as seen in (11-12). Did I mention I illustrated it? Poorly. I guess I could tell people I've been published, but this seems kind of like cheating. Sixth grade also saw the fad known as the "Macarena." The P.E. and music teachers had lessons in the gym to teach the entire school the "Macarena." Looking back, it was a waste of time.
(13-14) Remember TAG from (7-8)? Well, I read most of the books on the recommended reading list long before the class was even close to being done with their second book. My reading teacher knew I needed more of a challenge. She tested my reading level and I was reading at the 12+ level, so they tested me for TAG again. Now that I knew what they were doing, I actually answered the questions carefully. I made it in. Never actually heard what my score was on the test, but I remember word problems involving buckets of water. I did quite well on those. It was an oral IQ test. And thus I joined the Talented and Gifted Program. It was basically a slack-off class for the smart kids where we did a lot of logic puzzles and some independent research on various projects. Fun times.
(14-15) In eighth grade, I entered an area math competition. That's right, math. I entered the fractions category as well as a couple of others that I forget now. Anyway, I didn't do too shabby. Wasn't the top winner, but I did place. Despite my mathematical adventures (I wanted to be a math teacher at the time), I was still popular enough to win the election for Student Council Freshman Class Treasurer that spring. However, my high school schedule did not lend itself to the French, Spanish, Art and Choir electives I wanted to take, so I had to narrow it down to Spanish and Choir. I still kind of regret giving up the chance to be trilingual, but I guess it's never too late.
(15-16) My dad remarried in April of 1999, and (15-16) saw some of the most embittered family battles ever. The reason being that I hated my step-mother with a passion. This hatred was augmented by the fact that she wanted to move to Michigan and I had no desire to leave my life at Fort Osage. Luckily, this year also saw my involvement in the Fort Osage High School Freshman/Sophomore Chorale. We were a force to be reckoned with. Truly a great high school choir. At the Spring Pops Concert, I had a solo performance where I sang/played "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again." My father came to the concert. He was the only one from my family who did. I didn't do very well, but I blame it on nerves.
(16-17) Major change in lifestyle. It's hard to believe how much happened in this year. I started out knowing no one in Michigan and I ended the year recovered from my depression and dating the woman who I will marry in (21-22). I traveled abroad. I got my first job (Walmart Pets & Live Fish). I began accompanying choirs. I really grew as a person this year. At Blue Lake Fine Arts Camp (the camp they make fun of in American Pie - "one time, at band camp...") I became part of a posse. At some point, the four of us - Mike, Jamie, Emma and me - adopted names from the Wizard of Oz. I was the Tin Man. Mike was the Scarecrow. Jamie was Dorothy. Emma was Toto. That week before the international tour was quite odd, but it was kind of fun too. That week also included one of the counselors instructing the entire choir the process of the courtesy flush. "Poop. Flush. Wipe. Flush." Crude, but direct.
(17-18) I spent my 17th birthday in Flensburg, Germany where an entire German high school jazz band/choir sang a nice rendition of "Happy Birthday." I loved my time in Germany, especially Flensburg. Walking around downtown at night, I have a vision engrained in my head of everything I loved about Europe. Have you ever seen Van Gogh's "Cafe Terrace at Night"? I saw that image. It was so awesome. That evening, some of the members of my group stolled down the red light district in Flensburg, but I was with another group that decided against it. From what I heard, it was just a bunch of hairy, middle-aged women standing naked in the windows. Not sorry I missed it.
(18-19) Varsity Singers, 7th Hour Concert Choir, 8th Hour Concert Choir, SSA Honors, TTBB Choir and the Presbyterian Church Chancel Choir. I was involved in one way or another in all of these choirs this year. When Melissa Risk, the accompanist, quit, I became the student accompanist for all choirs but the SSA Chorus. I also participated in the MSVMA Region B Honors Choir, the Southwest Michigan Vocal Festival and the SWMVF Honors Choir that year. Add personal piano lessons, an independent study in music theory, a role in "South Pacific" and teaching private piano lessons, and you get a music-filled year.
(19-20) Fresh-faced and freshman. An escape from Michigan and return to my home state was just what I needed. However, I was still burnt out from my music-filled senior year and the stress of working too much on my high school yearbook caused my to take a semester off from journalism and I only accompanied voice lessons to keep up on my piano. The year did grant me an opportunity to join the Residence Hall Association, and RHA quickly became my cup of tea. I was thoroughly involved and I received the First Year Experience Award at the regional and national levels. I thought it was kind of cool that I was judged the most involved leader in residential life for all first-year students at colleges and universities across the country, but no one else outside the organization seemed to care. Oh well. The final evening at the National Association of College and University Residence Halls National Conference, I did some hardcore dancing and totally got my groove on for a long time. It was there I showed my RHA friends that I do have some real moves. I have to be in the mood to dance though.
(20-21) Let's see. This year. Hmm. Became addicted to Tower. Joined Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia. Made a surprise visit to Michigan for Thanksgiving. Joined Tower Choir. Finshed my term as RHA President. Strengthened a lot of friendships and made quite a few new ones as well. During first deadline for Tower, we were all pretty pepped about the whole thing and deadline weekend was a total blast. That weekend included chair bowling and the ever-popular "qua?". I really got to know my Tower friends that weekend and I stopped being quiet around them. Hell, I was jumping on desks and yelling random things, usually "qua?" to keep things going well...I guess. Good memories of another year.
(21-22) Thus far, I've updated my Xanga. This thing took an hour and 45 minutes to write, so I hope you enjoy.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

The_Boy_Named_Blue has been slacking off in the update department. In his defense. he's been out of town the last few days. He went to see his fiancée in Kirksville and had fun hanging out with her through Saturday. It was nice to get out of town for a little while.
Back to first person. I spent my Father's Day in true laziness. I went to church at 8:25 this morning, and after finishing the service, I returned to my apartment. I spent the rest of my day napping or playing Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories on GameBoy Advance. I'd complain about having no life, but it doesn't bother me tonight.
I have a longer, more reflective update to write either tonight or tomorrow, but I figured I'd write a "what's up with my life" entry first. No big plans for tomorrow. I have design II, reporting I and a dinner meeting with Laura Widmer, but no other plans. I am looking forward to getting mail tomorrow because I should have some nice things coming my way. I love non-bill mail.
I'm disappointed that I missed Family Guy this evening, but I slept through it. That's okay. I'll see it on Adult Swim soon enough. Well, no more to write right now. More to come later.
BTW, to those of you who read my xanga and didn't comment: I know who you are. Tsk tsk tsk. Can't you follow instructions?

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Another day. Another book.
I think my voracious appetite for reading has abated with the completion of the third book in this series. My thirst for reading is insatiable, but I think I'm ready to start writing for myself now rather than reading others' works.
I'm feeling a little bit more at ease. I'm not sure what caused this weird emotional/mental state, but it seems to be fading. I still have no desire to do homework. I suppose I should write my reporting I story before I go to sleep tonight because I don't want to get up early tomorrow and write it.
I'm going to borrow an idea from Tipps and write a very long post and require those who read it to comment. But what to talk about? I could tell you all about the premise for my novel, but then I'd have to kill you. I suppose I could let you know that it's loosely based on an actual event, but that wouldn't be very accurate. Maybe if the actual event were changed dramatically and people who were involved with the orginal were wiped from history. Even then it wouldn't be accurate. I guess I got the idea from somewhere in my subconcious. I just hope people will like the story once it's completed.
It's late evening, and thus I am wearing my hat. I picked up this nifty Adidas hat when I went down to Kansas City Memorial Day Sunday. I'm not a big fan of hats, but this one called to me. And Adidas always reminds me of my trip to France. "Why?" you may ask. Simple, I browsed by many Adidas watch shops, and that's how I decided that I liked the brand. Rather than one of those digital sport watches, I have a cool analog silver Adidas watch, but I need to get it fixed. I haven't worn it at all since Feb. (I think) because I broke one of the posts and I haven't investigated getting it fixed anywhere.
Beth came over for dinner this evening. I had fun hanging out with her and our conversations always seem to drift aimlessly. We ended up talking for a good 2.5 hours, but it was quality. It's always nice to sit down with a friend and just talk about whatever comes to mind. I also made a pretty kickass chicken and rice dish, so yay for me. I'm pretty handy in the kitchen, but I have limited tools and supplies here on campus. I found one recipe that I really wanted to try, but the ingredients were a little obscure, plus I'm not 21 yet and thus cannot buy the wine to use in the recipe. Soon enough, but even then I'm living on campus. Dry campus.
I'm really looking forward to going out of town this weekend. I've been out of town for afternoons or even whole days since I started classes this summer, but I've spent every night in Maryville. I just need to escape the town, you know? I've always been the kind of person who needs to change things up a bit once in awhile. Usually that comes about in the form of a weekend escape or rearranging my living space. However, I seem to have blocked myself into the setup of my bedroom because of space constraints. I just can't live without a bookcase and I thought my keyboard would come into great use in the next year.
I've now decided that I'll just get up earlier tomorrow and write my reporting I story because I realized my tape recorder is in my car and this post is taking longer to write than I expected. I'm really glad Jody is so flexible in Design II. I'll probably just crank out the story in that class, but I may try to work on it before I leave in the morning. I'd rather have class at 7:30 and 1:20 in the summer and have to get up early than go at 10:10 and 1:20. I need a longer break between these extended classes.
Has anyone else seen those Nike Free shoes that have the tagline "run barefoot." I'm curious how those shoes actually feel. I ran three-fourths of a mile barefoot at the end of my last six mile run, and it was an pretty cool feeling. I'm sure they're expensive, but maybe they'd be worth trying on at least. I'm not sure I'll actually try them, but I'm considering it.
Well, that's about all I have to write for now. Remember that if you've read this far you are required to comment. This post was brought to you by the letter 'B' and the number 12.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Reading this.
Double update because I am addicted to both of these items. I love the BEP, and the Otori trilogy is one of the best I've read.
I don't know what's up with me lately, but I feel a little better now that I had a three-hour-long nap this evening. I really should be working on my design analysis and story analysis for class tomorrow, but I'm not really in the mood. I just want to read.
"What happened to your novel?" you may ask. Well, it's not dropped, but I haven't had the energy to pursue it lately. Maybe that's why I'm in a foul mood. Hey, I designed the book's cover in my design II class for my first project. The professor liked it a lot.
More to come when my brain feels like functioning.
Edit: One of the most difficult questions to answer: "What is your design strategy for this project?" I'm just flying by the seat of my pants on this project. I don't have a strategy. Time to b.s. But instead of further classwork, I'm going to work on the Basement Dweller Handbook because I have a dinner meeting to discuss it Wednesday. I suppose some work on it might be in order.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Another day, another book read.
I don't know what's up with my mind lately, but I need some form of escape. It's 2:02 a.m., June 13, 2005. In six days, it will be eight years. In seven, 21. I spent some time at the Episcopal church this evening playing the piano. I didn't practice for performance, but I just played for me. As I played, the rain began to pour and the thunder boomed around the church. I'm coming to terms with some emotions, but I still don't know what they are.
For now, I'm taking things one day at a time. I sleep when I need to sleep and I try to add some life into my daily proceedings. I need to work on improving myself now. I'm not sure what all this means in my life, but I guess that's what reflection brings us.
Don't worry about me. I get by. I'm going to go read.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

I seem to be stuck in some kind of loop. Everytime I try a new route for running - six miles. Everytime I step on the scale - 195. It never changes. I suppose it's not the worst loop to be stuck in, but it's a little aggrivating, you know?
I didn't really have a productive day. I practiced at the Presbyterian church for two hours because I'm the "guest organist" this Sunday. AKA the substitute. I'm a little stressed about playing two different services Sunday, but hey, it's an extra $40.
Well, I'm currently rereading the Otori trilogy, so I think I'm going to go read for awhile and crash. I'm tired after my run.
P.S. I'm lovin' these thunderstorms.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Well, the headache is gone, but not much more point to an update. I spend a large chunk of my evening in the bowels of Wells Hall, where I accomplished much. As for EYE WATCH 2005, my eyes are now blue, but the inner circle surrounding my pupils are still green. Just so you know, my eyes naturally shift colors, but they usually fade from blue to gray, rarely green, and never as green as they were last night (at least that I've noticed).
I don't really like my classes this session, but I think that's partly because my brain is protesting the constant work. It wants to stop learning for awhile. Plus Boss is just an odd man, and I can't seem to catch the vibe that will actually let me learn in his class. I feel as if I'm just floating through Reporting I.
Oh well, c'est la vie, as they say in France (and Canada). I should look up some story ideas before I go to bed because I don't want to get up early tomorrow to look for them then.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Sorry I didn't have more of an update last night. I ended up falling asleep on the couch until 12:20, so I just got up, brushed my teeth, noticed my shockingly green eyes, updated and went to bed.
Right now, I have a horrible headache, and the sound of the keyboard spacebar is annoying me terribly. Therefore, I will update more later. By the way, my eyes are still green, but the blue is making its comeback.
When I awoke my eyes were green.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Had a good weekend overall. Made a few crazy plans, but they fell through. Went to Kara's wedding. It was nice. Saw my family since they were down in Independence. Spent the weekend with Samantha, which was nice because I hadn't seen her since May 7. We've passed the 1 year mark countdown toward the wedding. I'm not too savvy at math tonight, but I believe the official count is 363 days.
Picked up Tenacious D this weekend. It's a laugh. Feel like writing short sentences. Not feeling particularly anxious to write tonight. Story still spinning in my head. Reading "What Dreams May Come." Second time presents much deeper examination of afterlife theories. Trying to figure out exactly how death plays a role in my work.
Attempt 1 at Yoo-hoo cake. Not chocolatey enough. Will try again. Need to run. Prefer to sleep. Recent weather just makes me tired. Stream of conciousness. Reporting I. Media Design II. Another session begins.
More to come. Words might flow next time.
*EDIT* Most recent favored phrase: "best laid plans of mice and men."

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Well, it worked. I cranked out chapter one of what is hopefully my first novel. It was pretty effortless, and I feel like I have a good plot developing. I hope my readers will respond to it as much as I did while writing it. Although normally maintaining a very tough exterior, I was actually touched by the words that flowed onto the paper.
Unfortunately for all of you in Xangaland, I'm at the creative point where my work is unavailable for review. You'll just have to be patient as I work on this. Hopefully things only get better.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Along the path of life, there are people who help you in great ways. I would like to thank my good friend Harry for his wonderful offer of a typewriter for only $25. I feel like a genuine writer now, and I cannot thank him enough.
Well, I have to type up my comm. law notes and start on a paper rewrite (on the computer), but I just wanted to let everyone in Xangaland know about my good friend Harry and his help.All in all, my weekend was, well, weird. I'm primarily focusing on Sunday and today because Saturday seemed almost non-existent because I just worked on cleaning up and arranging my apartment. Sunday, I went to church and after the service, which was quite nice, I left for Independence. Hadn't really planned on going down, but I got the urge to visit the Mound Grove Cemetery and lay flowers on family members' graves.
The conversation in the undercroft after church was the only extended human contact I've had in the past two days. I have not used my voice at all today unless it was some mumbling to myself. I take that back, I had a phone call about a meeting for my comm law study group, but that's it. Now, I'm sitting here writing away on Xanga because I haven't even left my apartment today. How strange.
Well, I guess things will return to normal with tomorrow. Only three more days of first session. It's a little strange to think that I'm practically done with 6 of 18 hours this summer. It's also nice. Well, I'm going to go read for awhile before falling asleep.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

I am socially aversive. Self-diagnosed. I base this decision on a history of failed attempts at social interaction. I went to the Omaha zoo this morning, and I arrived 20 minutes early because I wasn't 100% how long it would take to get there and whether I could find it. I was supposed to meet everyone at ten, but at 10:15 no one had shown up. The common, normally social, person would have whipped out his/her cell phone and called one of the people he/she was going to meet. Not me, I slinked back to my car and left for home.
It's a curse. I know this is how I am, and therefore, I really shouldn't arrive to a social function early because it will ultimately result in my premature departure if others are late. Some days are better than others, but I can say that I almost didn't rush Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia because I showed up to the first rush event early and I was getting more and more anti-social as time elapsed, but the guys showed up before I left.
Note to my readers, if we make plans and I don't show up, it's either a.) because I forgot or more likely b.) I showed up early and then my anti-social behaviors got the best of me. I'm a loner, and I'm okay with that. I'm not one who needs constant socialization. Some days, I can go the entire day without actually holding a conversation with anyone. I show up, do my work, go home, exercise and relax. There's nothing wrong with that situation, but it's days like these when I drive two hours to get together with friends and then leave before I meet them that get a little trying.
I actually drove from Omaha to St. Joseph to hit the mall and do some other shopping, but I have this problem with spending money. I don't want to do it. I actually intended to pick up some more shorts for running, but I didn't want to spend money I don't really have. The only things I bought today were my lunch, gas and groceries. I wanted to buy The Piano music book, The Piano DVD and The Piano soundtrack because I really like Michael Nyman's compositions for that film, but I didn't. I have better things to not buy.
Well, I cheated on my diet this evening and had some pasta (yum, carb load), so I'm going to make up for it by going running. Yes, I know it's 11 p.m., but I like to run at night. Off to run...alone...just as I am.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Did another 6-mile run this afternoon. I have a question for any other long distance runners who read my Xanga. What do you do about your feet? My problem is that my body can run more than six miles, but by that point my feet/ankles are killing me. I'm considering buying an ankle brace for my right ankle, but I'm really looking for something to alleviate the foot pain. Is it just my shoes or what? I run on streets/sidewalks most of the time, but that's because running on the grass presents too uneven of a surface for my ankles to hold up (they've always been easy to sprain).
Wow, that was a long question. As far as the rest of my life goes, I'm on a healthy diet and going to classes. I have little to no life, but I'm okay with that. The rest of the year presents me with endless opportunities to be busy, so I'm enjoying the downtime. I'm going to Omaha tomorrow for my friend Beth's 21st birthday. She doesn't drink, so we're going to the zoo and then out to dinner in the evening. Sunday presents organ at church in the morning and an organ recital in the afternoon. Jieun Kim Newland is presenting her undergraduate recital. Mrs. Horner from the Modern Languages department invited me along with Dr. Shannon, so the three of us are going down together and then out to Korma Sutra, an Indian restaurant, after the recital. Indian food usually equals spicy, so I'm looking forward to it.
I'm getting a rumbly in my tumbly as Pooh would say, so I'm going to go scavenge my apartment for something nourishing. Don't forget to watch the Muppet Wizard of Oz movie tonight. It's supposedly very well done.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Do you remember how your grandparents always said that in their day they had to walk to school 5 miles uphill both ways? Well, I figured it out. They weren't lying to us. Our grandparents were just trying to tell us that they grew up in Maryville, MO. Honestly, I just went for a short run because my body is tired. I think it was 2.5 miles or so, but my body wanted to give up about halfway through the run because it seemed like I couldn't catch a break and I was always running uphill.
I have my Communication Law midterm Thursday, and I'm a little nervous. We've learned about 50 court cases and I have to memorize all of them along with important laws and bills that apply to communication law. I love studying media law, and most of the course so far has been review and reinforcement since I studied media law on my own in high school, but I didn't have to memorize all of this information in my studies. I recognized some of the court name, could tell you what aspect of communication law they dealt with and even give some background to the case, but I wasn't as pressured to know it all. Oh well, that's what education is about, right?
A thought just occurred to me. What if instead of Greece, Samantha was actually going to Grease? Instead of ouzo there would be Rizzo and instead of olives there would be Olivia Newton-John. Instead of visiting the Olympic stadium will she be, not an athlete, but an athletic supporter? That would just be weird. I've got chills *they're multiplyin'*... I just hope the weather is good. I wouldn't want her to get struck by GREASED LIGHTING! Okay, I'll stop.
Well, no extensive mileage today, but that's because I did some strength training, if you can call it that. I'm afraid that I'm pretty weak, but the room was empty. Therefore, I had no real reason to feel embarrassed. After my workout I did some interval training. I haven't tallied the total meters run yet because I know it's only about 1600-2000, but my left arch is killing me still. I got arch supports for my shoes, but I'm still recovering from the run Sunday.
Well, it seems as if my updates are only about my workout schedule, but that and classes are pretty much all I have going right now. My fiancée leaves for her trip to Italy/Greece Wednesday, and I must admit I'm jealous, especially since I have wanted to visit Greece for a long time (not all my life, but since I entered my teen years). I want to witness all of that civilization (even if it is gone - not saying they're uncivilized, but you know what I mean...I hope).
Well, not much more to post. I'll plug the new Muppet Wizard of Oz movie that's on ABC this Friday evening, and leave you with that.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

I just spent 4 1/2 hours practicing piano/organ at the Episcopal Church. That's right, 4.5 hours. I feel like I got a lot accomplished, but I also felt kind of like a heathen because I didn't know what Pentecost is. I didn't grow up in a church with any kind of litugical calendar per se, so I'm still learning what all these things are. After finally learning what Pentecost is, I chose pretty much all new hymns for tomorrow's service because Dr. Loomis, although a great guy, isn't the best chooser of hymns. I think figuring out the hymn schedule might soon be my job, or at least amending it. The congregation is trying to beef up its music program (from none to some), and it kind of sucks that we aren't familiar with the hymns we sing. We need to introduce them one at a time instead of four. That's where I come in.
Enough ranting about the church music program. I did practically nothing yesterday/last night, but I was up until 4 a.m. organizing my mp3 collection. It was in need of major work because the ID3 tags were not cool. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, just think "Brent=obessive compulsive=need to organize everything=sorts his mp3 files."
I haven't been updating a lot because I have no life and most of the things I plan to work on this summer are still in the planning stage. I'm still sorting through stacks of papers and tons of resources for the yearbook staff manual and I'm also taking 6 hours of classes right now, which as you summer people know is enough work. I've started working out again, and by working out I mean running. I need to lift weights but I just don't have it in me. I can go run pretty much anytime I want to, but it seems like lifting always requires some kind of scheduling process. I'm slowly improving my stamina with running, so once I feel fit again I might make an effort to lift regularly. Oh, in terms of running, does anyone have or know of a pedometer that's accurate? I had one once, but it didn't match my actual distance running, so I don't have it anymore. I'm looking for a cheap, yet effective device.
Well, I'm still not 100% organized in terms of unpacking my apartment, so I'm going to get started on that again. Maybe someday I'll actually settle into my living space and I can be more constructive. Right now it just feels as if I'm simply moving piles from one location to another. I think I need about 4 filing cabinets...but I have no room and I don't want to spend the money. Oh well, back to work.
*EDIT* Just got back from measuring the distance of my run. Six miles. I think the last time I ran six miles was at cross country practice when I was 14. Six years later, almost seven. I can do it, but it hurt. I just kept pushing myself farther and farther. For those of you interested, from the Forest Village Apartments down College Park Drive to Sixteenth St, across and down Grand to Fox Rd over to Country Club Drive to Fourth Street, 4 laps around the track, down Fourth Street again to Main Street turning left and running to Sixteenth Street and back down to College Park Drive and to the Apartments is 6 miles. That's what I did. I weighed (I'm not afraid of people knowing my weight) 194 when I left to run. Upon my return I weighed 192. Most of that was probably all the dehydration and stuff, but I thought it was a good, yet scary, indicator of a tough workout.
*EDIT* Make that 5 1/2 hours at the church today. More practicing. It's amazing how much you can get done when you have no life.

Friday, May 06, 2005

I just saw brother for the last time for at least a year. That's right. Unless I visit Michigan before early July, I will not see my brother for quite some time, hopefully as soon as my wedding next June. He's going to school in Brisbane, Australia in July, and that is quite the distance to travel, not to mention expen$ive. Many of you don't know my brother, but he is one of my major role models in life, and I'll miss the opportunities to visit with him every so often. We don't communicate a lot now, but we could if we wanted to. However, Australia prevents any kind of hanging out that is common between us. We can chat and email, but it's just not the same as hanging out, playing video games and cracking jokes. Send good thoughts for a safe journey and safe adventure in Australia because I want him coming back in one piece.I almost regret taking summer classes in May and June because I'll miss hanging out with him and my little sister Elizabeth, but I want to get school out of the way as soon as I can. I'm ready to leave this transitory state of undergrad pursuit and nail down some kind of authentic life. I feel like some serious commitment to life will help define exactly what kind of person I am. Not that I'm living my life in pursuit of self-definition... I'm just ready to move on to something more...I don't know. I guess you'd understand if you felt the same way.Anyway, the point of this post was to share my sadness with you. I have a lot of brothers in Phi Mu Alpha, but Mike has been with me since day one. Brothers by blood and common experience.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Hey all, I'm up here in the wintry Michigan. I use that word because there was a little bit of sleet today and a slight chance for snow tomorrow. It is May 1 people! How does Michigan get away with snowing on me. Nevertheless, this trip is nice. I am able to spend some quality time with my siblings and my stay at home (the first since last summer) has reminded me why I moved away to college.
I saw The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy tonight, and I highly recommend it. I would liken it to Monty Python goes into space. Highly funny, especially the dolphin song. I laughed really hard at that part.
I ate at Logan's today, and it was an interesting dining experience. They have big buckets of peanuts (in the shell) on the table and you them open and just throw the husks on the floor. I felt like a barbarian. However, they have awesome rolls that they just keep bringing while you dine. It was a little pricey, so I opted for the cheap, but good hamburger. I'm willing to go back and try their barbecue.
Like I said, spent time with the family, but I'm anxious to get back to Maryville and get done with classes. Three more trimesters remain until I'm done with school. For those of you counting, i.e. my fiancée, 1 year, 1 month, and 2 days until the wedding. Well, I'm going to sign off for now. I apologize for not reading your Xangas as religiously as before, but it took me 20 minutes to get to this screen to post. I dialup...

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

There are several weeks throughout the school year that I love.
The first week of fall classesThe week after ThanksgivingFall Finals WeekThe first week of spring classesThe week after spring breakSpring Finals Week
Why? Because I can be assured of a longer casual conversation with friends and acquaintances. Instead of "Hey, how's it going?" or "What's up?" I can say "How are finals treating you?" or "How was your break/summer?". This makes me feel like more of a human being. I always feel my on-campus casual conversations are very robotic or formulated. I guess they still are during these weeks, but they seem a little more personal.
Anyway, I wish I had been able to see the Celebration Spring Show, but I was on the 5 p.m. train to Kirksville Friday evening. And by train I mean car. And by 5 p.m. I mean 5:30. Anyway, I was on my way to see my fiancée, Samantha, and also to see her choir, Cantoria sing Saturday night.
I thoroughly enjoyed my visit with Samantha and it was nice to stay the extra day and come back this afternoon. I felt quite domestic this weekend since I painted a room, cleaned and rearranged with Sam, washed dishes, and spent some quality time at Ace Hardware. I forgot how much I love spending time in hardware stores.
Sadly, my weekend also reminded me of that scene from Old School where Frank (Will Ferrell) is talking about his weekend plans:"Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time."Now, don't get me wrong. I love working around the house, but it also felt very adult-like. I'm not ready to enter the real world. Anyway, I digress. By Sunday afternoon, I was dead tired. I decided I was done for the day and relaxed on the couch. All in all, it was a very productive weekend.
But back to Saturday night and the Cantoria concert... That choir has some amazing qualities, and it turns out they dislike their director like many of T.C. members dislike Dr. Town. Anyway, the first half of their program was astounding, and they even pulled off an 11-movement chorale. That was magnificent, although the only parts that really moved me were 1, 2 and 9. Don't ask me the exact name of the piece because I left my program in the car.However, the second half of the program lacked spirit. Perhaps it was because they were tired after their amazing first half. Perhaps it was because they were handed that music two weeks before the concert. But most of all it was because their director told them to sing "My Soul's Been Anchored in the Lord" by Moses Hogan as straight as possible. It was disheartening. They suddenly took on a very Caucasian style. VERY Caucasian. Nevertheless, I'm a stickler for vowels and that is something at which Cantoria excels. Good vowels MAKE MY JUICES JUICE...in the words of Dr. Town.
My finals week is moving along quite nicely, and I don't actually have any finals until Wednesday morning at 7:30. Ugh, three 7:30 finals this week, but at least I get them done early in the morning.
Well, I told Sarah I would be at Fine Arts at 8:45 tomorrow morning to practice with her for her jury at 9:10, so I should probably wrap this up and head to bed. My bed is covered with clothes, so I might just sleep on the futon I put together tonight. No, I'm not crazy. I'll be sticking around my room after this week during summer classes, so it made sense to put together the futon rather than just leave it stacked up in the corner of my room.
I apologize for the long time span between updates and I'll try to do better in the future. I promise nothing for next week, however, because I'll be in Michigan and I don't get online as much up there.
*Special thanks to Tipps for providing words for my post. I could only think of the word associates when I needed to use acquaintances. His speedy assistance is greatly appreciated.*

Thursday, April 21, 2005

I need encouragement to take up my story again. I won't provide the whole thing, but I want some responses on this section.
Josh hung up the phone and rolled out of bed, not feeling ready to tackle the day, and already dreading the end of the day, when he stumbled back into his apartment, threw his keys on the counter, and crashed into the mussed bed. Standing in the cramped bedroom of his cheap little apartment, he looked out the window and up into the small sliver of the sky he could see from his abode. The clouds were swollen with the large drops of water that streaked down his window and continued to fall down to the cramped alley, where cats ducked beneath refuse to avoid the wet.
‘Another day of this?’ he thought to himself, rubbing his face with the palm of his left hand as he stumbled toward the bathroom. Leaning on the grungy sink, which desperately needed to be cleaned, but he had not yet found time, he stared into the mirror at the image of himself. Who was the man looking back in the mirror? This gaunt, drained character with sullen eyes and no livelihood jarred his consciousness.
‘Is this really me? Boy oh boy, if the folks back home could see me now. Their poster child, surviving on ramen noodles and working a double shift at a grungy little record store for a few measley bucks. Is this what college was for?’ Sighing in exasperation, Josh turned away and wrenched the handle for the shower to come on. As the cheap shower head sputtered water sporadically in the shower and the floor outside of the cheap prefabricated unit common in cheap housing and seedy motels, Josh reviewed the schedule of the day’s events in his head.

“Even broken love is better than loneliness,”

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

*EDIT* Let me just say that I didn't screw up and cause a huge problem, so I'm getting really pissed that they're being so demanding with me to fix it. Fuck it, the class is done tomorrow and there's nothing they can say or do that will make my sources actually answer the phone, read their emails or contact me. I have a paper to do, and I'm not paid AT ALL by the Missourian so I refuse to clean up their mess.
Well, I have one more paper left this semester, and it's due at 9:30 tomorrow morning. I've done practically nothing on it. Thanks to those who read my articles and gave feedback, it really helps my primary research.
In other news, today saw the birth of "Random Acts of Yoohoo." I was at Beal Park this evening with the brothers until I had tech writing, but I came back after my final. I talked with Lee, James and Stephen for a bit and then proceeded home, but I had to stop for a drink (non-alcoholic). I pulled into Bearcat express and said, "I think I want a chocolatey drink, I'll grab a Yoohoo." I got to the Yoohoo section of Bearcat express and they had two remaining bottles of Yoohoo. "I know who would like this other bottle," I thought to myself. So I grabbed it too, paid for it and left for home.
Upon entering South Complex, I chatted with my RA who was working the desk and then stopped by the humble abode of Mr. Kyle Kurtz. With a quick knocking on his door, he opened it up and I presented him with the bottle of his favorite chocolate drink. His eyes lit up like an obese child at an all-you-can-eat candy store. I explained that Random Acts of Kindness are being replace by Random Acts of Yoohoo. I hope I improved his evening just a little bit, and now I will pass the message on to you. When you grab an icy cold bottle of Yoohoo, grab one for a friend and commit your own Random Act of Yoohoo.
Well, the research argument on narrative journalism awaits, so I'm off to do that. Have a good night, I could be up for awhile.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

I'm full of conflicting emotions.
1. I am now an official member of Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia Fraternity. Nothing compares to the pride I feel right now to be a part of this great group. I'd expand, but I'm sure my brothers understand what I'm talking about and the other readers don't need to know. I look forward to a lifetime with this group (just as long as I reach alumni status and not drift aimlessly as a collegiate member for all my years).
2. I am exhausted and sleep-deprived.
3. However, I have a crapload of homework to complete, and that requires staying up. This problem can be eliminated with the elimination of the source, aka Advanced Composition.
I'd write more, but I have enough of a dilemma right now. More to come in the future.

Monday, April 18, 2005

NUDE PICTURES TO FOLLOW

My weekend has gone rather well, and I feel I've accomplished quite a bit. I went on a long walk Friday evening and I had a nice chat with Beth and Precious. It was very settling, which was a nice anchor for my hectic, homework-filled weekend. I also went over to the Station and had a nice little chat with Kelli, the next RHA President. We had "training," which basically means we talked about a lot of random shit including literature.
Saturday brought a day for American Novel journaling (which I still need to work on) and a couple of outings with my Phi Mu Alpha probationary class. We were on the lookout for costumes for our song because it is just that cool, and although we didn't find what we were looking for, I had a good time with the Davids. The Davids...does that sound like some weird band name to anyone else?
I also had my interviews with Justin and Dane, which meant a trip out to Mozingo to hang out with them and the other guys in my class. "That's what she said" was the phrase of the night (thanks to me), and I don't think I've laughed that hard in quite some time. Justin is serious about nature, and I had fun hanging out by the fire.
I came back to town and dropped off the guys. I then went to St. Paul's to practice the organ for this morning, and I found out today that I practiced two wrong hymns last night, but the right ones sounded much better than the two I struggled through. I was on the mark for the organ this morning, and that is always a nice feeling. I've definitely made a lot of progress since last spring when I started playing the organ. I can play with the pedals pretty well now.
I have the Tower Choir concert this afternoon and some heavy reading for Phi Mu Alpha, so my evening looks pretty book. Fifteen more journal entries for American Novel and that class is on the downhill sprint. At least that's one stress out of the way. My technical writing final is Wednesday and my last meeting for the Northwest Missourian is Thursday. Yearbook practicum ends tomorrow, and who knows how many more times Dr. Town will require our presence at the Tower Choir Hour. Needless to say, the semester is winding down well enough. Advanced Composition remains as my only major roadblock, but I've given up the pursuit of an A in that class.
Well, I need to go switch my laundry, so I will probably update more later when I'm trying to put off homework.

PERVERT! Did you scroll down here just to see some skin before reading my post? I can't believe you. Don't you care what's going on in my life? Why would I post nude pictures on my Xanga? This is not some porn site, this is a place for my thoughts.
Just kidding, I just thought it would be funny to see how many people would immediately scroll down to look at the photos, but I'm sure you won't fess up to it.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

I had a dream about Lucky's last night. Mind you, I've not been to Lucky's since last spring, but it entered my subconcious mind last night. However, they weren't really open and it had turned into a children's daycare facility. I went in to get change for a five.
This is why I love sleep so much. I'm probably one of very few people who dream about getting change for a five.
Today is a fairly good day thus far, so let's hope it stays that way. I have more work to do.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Why is it that I always feel the need to do anything but homework when I should be doing nothing but homework? I have two big projects (school projects, who cares about work projects?) remaining this semester, but I have no desire to work on EITHER of them.
We're reading "Their Eyes Were Watching God" in my American Novel class, and I must say I am quite pleased thus far. It's actually a pretty good book. Unfortunately, I have more to do than read a book.
I got my car back and said, "Yes, my car is finally fixed. No more problems."
I then proceeded to make a left turn...but my front turn signal burned out, so I headed over to Walmart and bought a replacement bulb and a quart of oil (just because my car seemed a little thirsty). I'm good to go now.
My Tower Yearbook Editor interview is tomorrow, and I just remembered that. I'm obviously on top of things. What do you need to say at an interview when you're applying for a job no one else is applying for*?
*Unless someone else decided to apply and I didn't hear about it.
Back to non-work.

Friday, April 08, 2005

I have nothing astounding to post, so I will tell you about my car troubles. I was delivering newspapers for the Missourian yesterday when my vents turned on full blast.
"Well, this is certainly strange," I thought to myself. "I will just turn them off."So I turned them off, but they did not stop blowing.
"Well, maybe my car is being weird," I thought again. "I will turn my car off."So I turned my car off, but they did not stop blowing.
"Hmmm," I thought. "Is my car going to blow up?"
But it did not blow up. I took it to the dealership and talked to the man with an eyepatch (one-eyed people, even if in a temporary state, freak me out).
"Hmm," he said. "That is a very strange problem. You can leave it here or drive it home and disconnect the battery every time you turn off your car."
I left it there. I then proceeded to walk back to campus, stopping by Bearcat Express to buy a bottle of water. I decided to call Sam and tell her all about my car problems.
"Hey Sam, guess what I'm doing."
"What?" she said.
"I'm walking back to campus because my car is a piece of [expletive deleted]."
The conversation continued as I approached the corner of Walnut and Seventh.
"I just hope my backpack will stand up to the test," I said. "It's on its last leg."
Right after I uttered this statement, my backpack magically removed itself from my back.
"I'm a stupid Walmart backpack," it said (for this was indeed a magical journey). "I don't want to work anymore, so I removed my strap."
"Damn it all to hell," I said.
Proceeding quickly to Wells Hall because I was late for my newspaper meeting, I carried my bag in hand.
I bought a backpack at the bookstore (goodbye $35), and got a call from the shop this morning telling me it would cost $99 to fix my car.
Somehow, through all of this, I managed to keep on smiling and maintain a fairly cheery outlook.
That is my story.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

I've decided what to do with my future. I wrote a poem for my friend Iowa, and I'm going into the Res Life greeting card industry to use these very special poems I wrote tonight.
Res Life Poetry
Happy Birthday to the RA:You're an RA.Duty, not play,Is quite a wayTo end your special day.
ARCH on the prowl:Don't be crass.Get off your ass,And go to class.
the PERT help session:
Don't be a cooter.I'll be your tutor,So give you your 'puterI'm a trouble shooter.
RA Alcohol Bust
It's part of my careerTo write you up for beer,So empty your gearFor the eighth time this year.
Noise Violation
You know I'm endowedTo write up this crowdFor being so loud.You've just been res life ploughed.
Visitation Hours Violation
I know you want sexWith your best friend's ex.It's after one in this complex,So please unwind your necks.
Lockout
You lost your keysAnd you're on your kneesSaying "oh please."This problem I can ease.*That one sounds a little too sexual, but being an RA is sexy*
That's all I have. Thank you, thank you.

Monday, March 07, 2005

First of all, let me just say I'm putting off other work for a quick update. For those of you who were concerned, I received my midterm exam from Dr. Heusel today and I am happy to say I scored a 91% on the American Novel test. If you've never had Heusel, she thinks a 95% is a very generous grade...
Lamentations for Lent turned out pretty well and there were no major screwups. Chris and Phil - your recital was awesome. I'm so proud of my family. Gretchen and Victor - again, wonderful. I'm proud of all of you.
I had a nice visit with Sam this weekend and we got new cell phones. However, anyone who knows me knows that cellular phone technology does not agree with me, so my phone still doesn't work properly and I have to go to the Sprint store in St. Joe sometime soon. Before NYC...
TC Tour was amazing and I was glad to get to know some of my fellow members a bit better. The small ensembles were great too!
Very good weekend, but I'm behind schedule now. I must be off. Hopefully more later.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Today is an day of other writings. This is a post I've been saving for awhile, and I figured now is as good of a day as any. So, without further adieu, here is yet another entry.
My mother was not a profound speaker. I tried to recall some words of wisdom she instilled in me, and I could not think of anything earth-shattering. However, my mother was a woman of love. It was obvious in her every word and action. She loved her children, she loved her family, she loved her friends and she loved life. She was not perfectly content with things as they were, but she did seem to embody perfection.Perhaps it is just the musing of a man who lost his mother before the developing stages of puberty. As children we find perfection in all people, and somewhere along the way we turn and learn to criticize. That is the curse of humankind. I still see my mother as perfect, and that has greatly influenced my life.There were a few constants in my life. These things led me to believe in perfection. They were not major things, but the small events that form a child's mind. For example, I know that my mom would sing "Monday, Monday" almost every week, and she would also sing "I Shot the Sheriff." She also sang "Joy to the World (Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog)." These songs made me believe in something magical. This mysterious idea of song leads me to depend on music today.I learned to love my qualities through watching my mother love me. I was her left-handed, blond boy with eager blue-gray eyes. She wanted us to learn piano because she knew the solace it offered her and wanted the same for all of her children. My brother was a spitting image of her father, and his responsibile nature and wonder and creativity led her to love him deeply. And my sister. Elizabeth was, no, is her little girl with the curly hair and a curious mind. She knew perfection was in her children, and as we all grew up, we forgot that. We lost her to cancer, and we thought about the cruelties of life. We lost our innocence too early, but we still try to hold onto it.We never asked to be motherless. We never dreamed to be motherless. But in the end, we were. Our mother was not a profound speaker, but she still inspires us in our lives. She lived life profoundly, and she loved profoundly.We've drifted apart since then. I don't see my siblings very often, and we don't talk a lot. However, we are all connected because we were loved by the same mother. Wherever our paths may lead in life, I still know we can and will depend on our childhood.Although the body may die, the spirit will know life eternal, and in her children a mother will live on. I can only hope that I live the life she would have wanted.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Well, it turns out that I'm driving spreads down later today, we just awoke for a South Complex fire alarm, and I returned to my room. Although I am now coherent, I'm not quite ready to drive down to Herff Jones to drop things off. Last night was a well-needed break from the stresses of Tower Yearbook. WE'RE DONE!!!!!!!!
I need some more shut-eye before I'm ready to drive south, and I need to be back by five to drive south again. I've never felt so irresponsibile, but I need this weekend for me.
Well my eyes are trying to jump out of their sockets because they have been abused the last week, so I'm going to return to my pyjama-ed state and sleep away. If you need me for anything you can call, but I might not answer.

Friday, February 25, 2005

It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows. - EpictetusThis is the first of a series (hopefully) in which I explain quotes that take a major role in my life. The first quote is from Epictetus. Epictetus was a Stoic philosopher. The following is a description of Stoicism, the ideals of the philosophy, my opinion on the matter and how I apply this quote to my life.Stoicism deals with a removal of self from the irrational and a desire to maintain a calm livelihood while attaining wisdom.Stoicists often received a little flack because one of the ideals of Stoicism is apathy. However, apathy in its pure state is a great idea. Apathy is not the lack of care, but the neutrality of care. That sounds a little ridiculous, but I hope to explain. Rationality is an important factor of my life. The left-brain activities weigh themselves against my initial desire to process new thoughts and ideas in a logical manner.Happiness in Stoicism comes from a sense of imperturbability, freedom from passion, good feelings and awareness and capacity to attain a rational life. In Stoicism, aquiring wisdom requires one to learn what is 'in one's power.' Included in this practice is the denial of jugding anything as good or bad. The only good is acting virtuously and the only bad is acting viciously.Stoicism also deals with the idea of God. The Stoic understands his/her power of rationality is a fragment of God. God's material body -- a sort of rarefied fiery air -- blends with the whole of creation, intelligently forming and directing undifferentiated matter to make the world as we experience it.In this world of drama and subversive behavior, the inherent simplicity in Stoicism appeals to my character. I strive for organization and logic in most of my life's undertakings, and by adopting an attitude of apathy -- not the negative apathy, but the apathy that fosters growth--, one can attain some semblance of continuity and dependence in the world. Stoicism has a few flaws, but as a philosophy, I like it."It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows."This quote sums up one of my basic life ideas. My quest for knowledge will never be complete. As a writer, I constantly look for new sources to inspire me. I read books to judge the writing, characters and plot development and apply the lessons I learn to my own writing. By opening my mind to new ideas, my own do not grow stagnant. I do not claim to know everything about anything.I'd write more, but that's all I have right now. More to come another day.