Wednesday, February 23, 2005

All of my friends are true friends. I know that to be true. I hope my friendships are not marred by the things I say or others say. I would like to be friends with everyone. That is key.
I came to a few realizations today. I realize what drove me away from music after high school, and I realized how my personality meshes with other people's. I really don't want this dischord ruining my experience in Fine Arts or Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia. I really don't want this dischord to ruin my experience in Tower Yearbook. I really don't want this dischord to ruin my experience in life.
I sidestep a lot of issues, especially in Fine Arts. I'm still somewhat of a stranger to the building, but there are a few issues that I cannot ignore. I won't personally attack anyone because I do not know most of the people I interact with in FA. If I knew some of them better, I might step up and say something, but I don't. I will instead speak in generalities. The problem with generalities lies within the fact that certain people take offense to generalities when they shouldn't and others do not take it to heart. However, I am doing what I believe is the proper thing. I am a human being and therefore capable of error. Please remember that.
There are many hidden agendas in the Fine Arts body. Some criticism is constructive, and if executed properly, may result in a positive outcome. Some criticism stems from negative feedback, which is scientifically proven to result in poor conditions. I do not know what Dr. Town talked about the other day. I do not want to know. I'm not insinuating that the people in the room were wrong by any means, and I'm not insinuating that the people who were not in the room were right. I don't know what happens in Fine Arts. However, I do hear the snide comments in Tower Choir and the criticism in the hallways. I read some Xangas and hear about the issues there, but I cannot take them to heart. I cannot. I love music too much to let these issues get in my way.
I lost music for a year, and it sucked. I grew tired of the drama which accompanied the close interaction of several creative people with different ideas. I don't ask for perfection, but I do ask for acceptance. I also ask that we try to learn what we can from the things we experience and the words we have. My renewed love of music is still fragile, and this continual pessimism in Fine Arts is corroding my emotions. I'm especially disappointed in some of the comments I hear from (hopefully) my future brothers. As guides to my musical experience and interaction, I see my friends, all of whom are true friends, to be essential to my collegiate experience.
I don't really know Jake Harlan, but I feel for him. I don't spend a lot of time in Fine Arts, and he doesn't either this semester. I don't really know what is going on, but I do know it's a sad state of affairs. I don't feel any love, and that was something that drew me into Tower Choir. I can mention Jake because I identify with his confusion and dismay. Jake, if I misrepresented you at all, I apologize. I don't want to be presumptuous.
In regards to Tower Yearbook, I discovered many misconceptions I had about the staff. I realized that I was guilty of being subversive and superficial, and I hope to atone for my attitudes/actions during the rest of this semester and next year. I haven't felt this positive about Tower since the beginning of the year. It's refreshing. I hope to feel the same way about my fine arts experience soon.
I think this evening led to the strengthening of several relationships, and I sincerely hope that I will continue to live my life in this fashion. I might not have written any stories tonight, but I just had the most productive night in Tower yearbook ever. I'm actually excited about everything!
I leave you with some quotes to which I personally identify. Please read them, reflect on them, and take them to heart. I appreciate any comments, especially friendly ones.
Epictetus:It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows.
Mohandas K. Ghandi:If your heart acquires strength, you will be able to remove blemishes from others without thinking evil of them.
Alvin Toffler:The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.
Gilda Radner:"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity."

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