I've decided what to do with my future. I wrote a poem for my friend Iowa, and I'm going into the Res Life greeting card industry to use these very special poems I wrote tonight.
Res Life Poetry
Happy Birthday to the RA:You're an RA.Duty, not play,Is quite a wayTo end your special day.
ARCH on the prowl:Don't be crass.Get off your ass,And go to class.
the PERT help session:
Don't be a cooter.I'll be your tutor,So give you your 'puterI'm a trouble shooter.
RA Alcohol Bust
It's part of my careerTo write you up for beer,So empty your gearFor the eighth time this year.
You know I'm endowedTo write up this crowdFor being so loud.You've just been res life ploughed.
Visitation Hours Violation
I know you want sexWith your best friend's ex.It's after one in this complex,So please unwind your necks.
You lost your keysAnd you're on your kneesSaying "oh please."This problem I can ease.*That one sounds a little too sexual, but being an RA is sexy*
That's all I have. Thank you, thank you.