Sunday, May 22, 2005

I am socially aversive. Self-diagnosed. I base this decision on a history of failed attempts at social interaction. I went to the Omaha zoo this morning, and I arrived 20 minutes early because I wasn't 100% how long it would take to get there and whether I could find it. I was supposed to meet everyone at ten, but at 10:15 no one had shown up. The common, normally social, person would have whipped out his/her cell phone and called one of the people he/she was going to meet. Not me, I slinked back to my car and left for home.
It's a curse. I know this is how I am, and therefore, I really shouldn't arrive to a social function early because it will ultimately result in my premature departure if others are late. Some days are better than others, but I can say that I almost didn't rush Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia because I showed up to the first rush event early and I was getting more and more anti-social as time elapsed, but the guys showed up before I left.
Note to my readers, if we make plans and I don't show up, it's either a.) because I forgot or more likely b.) I showed up early and then my anti-social behaviors got the best of me. I'm a loner, and I'm okay with that. I'm not one who needs constant socialization. Some days, I can go the entire day without actually holding a conversation with anyone. I show up, do my work, go home, exercise and relax. There's nothing wrong with that situation, but it's days like these when I drive two hours to get together with friends and then leave before I meet them that get a little trying.
I actually drove from Omaha to St. Joseph to hit the mall and do some other shopping, but I have this problem with spending money. I don't want to do it. I actually intended to pick up some more shorts for running, but I didn't want to spend money I don't really have. The only things I bought today were my lunch, gas and groceries. I wanted to buy The Piano music book, The Piano DVD and The Piano soundtrack because I really like Michael Nyman's compositions for that film, but I didn't. I have better things to not buy.
Well, I cheated on my diet this evening and had some pasta (yum, carb load), so I'm going to make up for it by going running. Yes, I know it's 11 p.m., but I like to run at night. Off to run...alone...just as I am.

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