Thursday, April 06, 2006

It occurred to me this evening that I haven't actually written in this thing for awhile. I've updated, but not really written. So I'm going to try to fix that now.

I feel that I've been validated in the last few days. I've received notice that five, yes five, of my poems will be published this summer. "Hands" and "Nightsong" are being printed in Medium Weight Forks. "Judgment," "Goddess Moon," and "Learning" will be published in Thirty One Seventy. Granted my big focus is on fiction, but I also want to be a poet. These acceptances have really reached out and said, "Hey, someone actually likes what you've created." It's nice to have validation.

On a different front, I found a job I am applying for. As many of you know, I will be in Maryville next year, so I've been looking for a "filler" job. However, I came across a listing for an Admissions Representative for Northwest, and I have sent in my application. I don't have the job yet, but I feel that I'd be a good candidate for the job and my close association with many areas of Northwest (a byproduct of my frenzied university life) has given me a greater understanding of this university. I really want this job. This potential job also makes me feel like all of my work hasn't been for nothing. Think good thoughts as I undergo the application process.

I'm getting married in less than two months. It's suddenly very real. I think the moment it really hit me was when the pastor took us into the sanctuary during marriage counseling to give us a rough runthrough of the ceremony. All of the planning up to this point has been somewhat abstract, almost disconnected, to me. However, now things are very real. There's a size 9.5 wedding ring sitting in a box in Hastings, Mich., that will soon find itself as a permament fixture on my hand. I'm excited. I feel this rush that skims just below the surface as I think about it all. It's some kind of natural buzz.

I seem to have made some *peace with religion. I'm longer aversive to it. I'm really questioning some of the belief systems I grew up with, but those are rather denomination-specific. There are certain things I will always believe, and they won't always match up with one specific religion, but I can at least coexist with them now. I just hate it when people get pushy.

As I'm thinking about religion, I'm reminded of my visit to the basement of Wells Hall today.

The basement was rather warm, so the folks at the Missourian had propped open the door. The wind blew down into the offices, circulating the usually dead air. It reminded me of the summer when I would work down there all alone while the air rushed about. The cooling system moves a lot more air than the heater. I kind of miss those days where I had a more idealistic view of myself as an editor and the production of the 2006 yearbook. I'm wiser now, but I suffer from the occasional bout of nostalgia.

Hmm...I wonder how much I've changed this year. I guess I couldn't really figure that out myself. If nothing else, I now have one less internal organ. I hope there's more than that.

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