Friday, June 23, 2006

So life is uneventful. I'm not kidding. I've just been sitting around the apartment everyday waiting to hear back on some jobs. Sam and I have settled back in Maryville, but I'm really getting tired of waiting. I just want a job (even a terrible one), but I don't seem to make callbacks. In the grand scheme of things, the most stressful factor in my life is money. The expenses keep piling up, and I keep paying for them, but I'm not having much income. The only job I have is playing the organ at church, and $40/week isn't something to survive on.

I haven't been writing either. I guess I just need a little success in my life before I can convince myself to sit down and work on my stories. I spent awhile at Borders today just breathing. There's something so calming and peaceful about a bookstore. It really helped melt away the stress, and I was even happy for awhile. I was looking at some nonfiction and I remembered that I was really proud of some of the stuff I wrote in that class. I'm really proud of a lot of my work, but I'm insecure about it too. I guess it's a form of stage fright for writers.

Overall, I'm happy with my life. I'm loving married life. I'll feel a lot better about a lot of things when I have a little more financial security. I hate this contempt I have of spending money right now. I don't want to be a scrooge, but I'm worried about piling up debt.

Just needed to vent that little bit. Summer is flying by quickly, and school will begin again all too soon. It will be weird not going to class. I'm not done with school, but I have an extended vacation; extended until I get into a graduate school (application deadlines are looming).
I need to start updating this thing more frequently.

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